Why The Battleship Movie Is Better Than You Remember
Battleship, the movie version. Image courtesy of Universal Pictures.
The 2012 Battleship movie directed by Peter Berg and starring an eclectic orgy of celebrities such as Liam Neeson and Rihanna is not a great film. But it’s probably better than you remember.
Watching Battleship with the perspective of hindsight is fascinating. Inexplicably, it features a Donald Trump reference. It has a bunch of future stars in throwaway roles, like Rami Malek. The actor that the film was trying to make into a star, Taylor Kitsch, was a flop as a leading man (see: John Carter). It’s just a weird mishmash of a great many things thrown together in a celebration of American excess, and ultimately it is not nearly as bad as you may remember it being.
For one, Taylor Kitsch is not terrible as a leading man. Then why didn’t he take Hollywood by storm? Well, it’s probably a case of producers and agents trying to force the action. The days where studio bosses could be kingmakers because they controlled every aspect of the production and distribution process are long gone. When the studios tried to shove Taylor Kitsch down audiences’ throats because of his Friday Night Lights fame, audiences threw him back up. I don’t particularly think that is his fault, I think he probably got bad career advice.
It’s also clear that Universal was looking at all these improbable movie hits based on toys and amusement park rides and they were like, why can’t we do that for this beloved Milton Bradley naval strategy game? Of course, not every movie based on an amusement park ride has been a hit, but in the end the cut worm forgives the plow. So they charged ahead with this movie that fused together Top Gun, Independence Day and a music video into a pretty delirious cinematic misfire. And the thing is, if they had just shown the slightest bit of restraint this film might have actually been quite good.
There is nothing wrong with loud, dumb, entertaining movies - take Midway for instance. So I don’t find anything wrong with the idea of loading up a $200 million blockbuster with a random assortment of celebrities and making them fight aliens in a film that also doubles as an advertisement for the US Navy. But in their hubris, they over-did it.
The opening is a good example. The essential information that needs to be conveyed here is that Taylor Kitsch’s character is a well-meaning doofus who messes things up. They could have done this very economically and cinematically with that scene where he misses a goal while playing soccer. That would have told us everything we needed to know about his character - the guy wants to step up and make the big play, but he keeps being his own worst enemy.
But then they also add a scene where he falls through the ceiling of a convenience store while trying to microwave a Hot Pocket or something. And where he runs around trying to find the right time to have a hear-to-heart talk with his girlfriend’s dad. It’s not necessary. One scene that was given some thought (like the soccer scene) could have provided us all the backstory on this character that we need. But with this budget and this cast, there was apparently no thought given to restraint. So we got the kitchen sink.
I have a similar problem when the film tried to turn serious - like when the double amputee war veteran has a moment of extreme, shaky cam close-up as he talks about his injury and his sense of self-worth. That scene simply has no place in a movie where Rihanna fights aliens in a gunboat. I’m sorry. It doesn’t. And speaking of that, the shaky cam was criminally over-used in Battleship. Then again, it is Peter Berg so arguably this is an example of restraint.
Had they merely pulled back a little, the Battleship movie actually could have been pretty great spectacle cinema, the kind where you just turn your brain off for two hours and let a passable leading man fight aliens on the open sea. But, what we got was a Frankenstein of a film where you can see the good parts trying to fight their way out. Given that even films based on made up board games are having huge pay days at the box office, it certainly seems like Universal missed a golden opportunity with Battleship.
